


Snake Sharing, Or Snaring

by isweartocoffee



Series: The Snake Sagas [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Overuse of italics, Roommates, Snakes, good lord dont read if youre squeamish, graphic description of thawing mice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4358378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isweartocoffee/pseuds/isweartocoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen."</p><p>"Um, <em>you</em> need to stop being so dramatic."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snake Sharing, Or Snaring

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr ridiculous sentence prompt](http://autistictobiokags.tumblr.com/post/122475037101): "you need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen."
> 
> Written in one fell swoop, unbeta'd. May or may not come back and edit. I just wanted to get in the writing mood. Actually intended to be a drabble. Tbh I picked a sentence I'd been wanting to use, scrolled through tumblr and picked the first pairing that I crossed.

"You need to stop leaving dead bodies in the kitchen."

"Um," Hinata knit his brows together. " _You_ need to stop being so dramatic."

"There's fucking dead rodents in my sink!"

"In a _bowl_. They are _thawing_. Do you expect Crow to eat them cold?" He lifted his arm, the snake in question coiled very loosely around Hinata's hand.

"It's still disgusting! I'm trying to cook my own dinner and all I can smell are thawing dead mice." Kageyama threw his hands above his head. "Do you have to leave them in the sink? Couldn't you at least leave them in the bathroom?"

"The bowl is literally boiling hot. If you wanna move it and burn your fingers, be my guest." Finished defending himself and dropping the conversation, Hinata turned back to his laptop.

Kageyama stormed out, of Hinata's room and the apartment.

When they had agreed to be roommates, only for the sake of saving money while going to school, Kageyama figured a snake would be a tolerable pet. They didn't make noise in the middle of the night, they didn't leave hair everywhere, and they only ate once a week (he didn't even have to worry about being bugged to occasionally step in for that). But he'd forgotten that snakes eat live food.

At first, he had to deal with the squeaks and cries of poor, innocent baby mice as they got strangled to death. At one point, Hinata asked him to pick up some mice ("I'll pay you back!") and discovered that the kind Hinata got (fuzzies) weren't even the smallest feeders that were sold. They had these things called _pinkies_ , and they were just that- barely grown, fetal-looking babies. Yeah, they were rodents, but the thought of those tiny souls not yet having lived at all made his heart clench.

Thank God, Hinata went to that Reptile Convention not too long ago. Upon discovering that frozen mice were a nice alternative, he promptly bought a bulk bag of fifty. And Crow, the black leopard boa, only needed two a week, so the bag would last a while.

The drawback to the frozen mice being dead already: _they were thawing in the fucking kitchen_. In the sink. In one of the bowls that they ate out of. Sometimes their paws or the ends of their tails would fall off and be left in the steaming water. The sight and smell of frozen baby mice thawing was like no other. Kageyama silently agreed with himself to never, ever, _ever_ get his own pet snake.

After returning to the shared apartment, sweaty from a much needed jog, Kageyama called out for Hinata to 'stay in your room, I'm getting naked.' There was no response as he removed his shirt and wandered down the hall to the bathroom. Passing by the kitchen, he noticed the same bowl in the sink, mice still (mostly) intact.

Hinata hadn't fed Crow yet?

"Oi, dumbass. They're probably thawed by now."

No answer.

"Hinata!"

Nothing.

Kageyama ventured to Hinata's door, finding his roommate curled into a ball on the bed. A fat, black shoelace was wriggling across the nightstand, attempting to gracefully land on the floor. Just before the shoelace hit the ground, Kageyama dove and stuck out his hand to catch it.

"Damnit, snake."

Crow paid no mind to the sudden near-injury experience and wrapped around Kageyama's arm. This boa was gorgeous, an array of impossibly digital colors across his scales when the natural light hit them, but couldn't hold on for shit. Kageyama vaguely remembered Hinata something before about, 'he isn't arboreal, so he doesn't know how to anchor.' He'd only held Crow a few times, but now he realized what it meant.

Snarling in the direction of the bed, Kageyama grabbed what he knew to be the "feeding tank" and stalked back out to the kitchen. Crow continue to slip and slither and almost fall multiple times as his holder tried to figure out how to get the mice into the tank. Did Hinata just grab them with his bare hands? That was disgusting. Although, maybe not as disgusting as live worms, which Kageyama didn't mind. The water was still warm as he reached in his hand, but quickly cooling. He closed his eyes and grabbed both of the squishy nuggets. Very squishy. Holding his breath to keep the smell at bay, he tossed the contents of his hand into the open tank and immediately ran his hand under hot water.

 _That_ was an experience.

"Alright. Your turn."

Crow didn't acknowledge the command.

Kageyama removed the lid and tried to drop the snake in. "No. No. No. Let go. No, stay. Fuck. Fucking. Get your head in- stay in the damn tank you piece of shit. Look. Food. Dinner. _Fuck_." All he could manage was balling Crow up over himself and slamming the lid on before he could crawl out again.

Crow was evidently distraught, still snaking up the side of the tank and trying to push it off.

Kageyama rubbed his temple and set the tank on the floor. 'I need a shower,' he thought.

\-----

Hinata awoke two hours later. "Hm? Crow?" he said groggily. The realization that his pet was gone smacked him like a brick to the face; he gasped and flailed, picking up his blankets and pillows and laptop. "Crow??? Where'd you go, buddy? Aw, shit."

Kageyama wandered in, holding the pet. "I got him."

Hinata blinked at first, but sighed. "Ahhh, thank you! I guess I passed out. Wait. The _mice_ -"

"I fed him already."

"...You did?"

"Yeah," he said, handing the live-noodle back to its owner. "He ate pretty quickly, and when he was done, he joined me with a movie."

Hinata took his snake back, feeling the indicative belly lumps. "Oh. Well, thanks Kageyama."

"No problem." He walked out without another word.

\-----

"Kageyamaaaa," Hinata cooed, holding the black noodle to his roommate's face. "Kageyama, wake up dude."

Kageyama stirred, feeling Crow bump his cheek, and jumped back. "What the hell are you-"

"We made breakfast!"

"We? As in you and a filthy, armless animal?"

Hinata appeared to take great offense in the comment. "He is _not_ filthy! I bathed him right before we started cooking."

Kageyama sniffed the air; there was, indeed, a smell of something having been cooked and not burnt. "Waffles?"

"Waffles!"

"Frozen waffles?"

"Waffles, ultimately- the nature of their previous state is irrelevant!"

"And why did you make waffles?" Kageyama stretched, throwing his legs over the edge of his bed.

Hinata flopped next to him. "To thank you. And apologize, for leaving dead mice in the freezer and the sink. It was nice of you to feed him. I know you don't like him all that much."

At the comment, Kageyama turned away and scratched his ear. "He's not so bad, I guess."

"Cool!" Hinata kissed his friend on the cheek, almost distracting him from the: _I'm getting you a snake for your birthday._

The force with which Kageyama snapped his head to glare caused him to hurt himself. "Dumbass!"

**Author's Note:**

> "Kageyama, where'd you put my tongs?"
> 
> "What tongs?"
> 
> "The snake tongs, that you use to put the mice into the tank!"
> 
> "...You have tongs?"
> 
> "What?? Did you use your hands or something??? That's disgusting!"
> 
> "SHUT UP."
> 
>  
> 
> My sister's snake Derp (a 26 year old snake-owning veteran named her damn boa DERP) as Crow!
> 
> Comment. Or don't.


End file.
